First Impression
by Too Rare To Die
Summary: Jade meets Tori's parents. Of course, things don't go as planned. "Your daughter's screams made their way to my ears, even though my head was in between her—""JADE!"


**Disclaimer: I'd be willing to buy Victorious from Dan Schneider. If he accepted buttons and pieces of lint and old candy as money.**

It was supposed to be a peaceful night. A normal night for Jade to meet Tori's parents. But then again, when is anything dealing with Jade peaceful and normal?

"So my parents are still a little uncomfortable with me being a lesbian, but they shouldn't be too bad. And then there's Trina, try to be nice tonight. And Uncle Carlito's coming ton—"

Jade quickly interrupted. "Vega, calm down. I'll behave." She then muttered, "With the people who aren't your parents."

Tori, hearing Jade's comment, let out an exasperated sigh. "Jade! What do you have against my parents?"

Jade kept her eyes on the road, eyes narrowing to form a glare. "Maybe it's the fact that they're two homophobic, self-centered, neglectful assholes. They should be a little more involved in their kids lives. Maybe then, they won't be so surprised when their daughter comes out to them."

A light blush started to form on Tori's face. "Technically, I never came out to them."

Jade's venomous glare turned into an evil smirk. "It's not my fault you're so loud."

Tori crossed her arms. "I only wanted to cuddle. It's your fault for initiating...the events while my parents were in the next room."

Jade shrugged, Tori's house coming into view. "Potatoe, patotoe. Next time, we'll sleep over at my house. My dad may be a dick but he's not a homophobe."

Tori gave a frustrated groan in response as Jade pulled into the driveway. "Oh. Uncle Carlito's already here. He said that he had some important news to share with the family after dinner."

"Let's hope that his news is interesting enough to distract your parents from glaring at me."

...

There was an awkward silence as the family sat to eat dinner. Well, an awkward silence between Tori and Jade and Tori's parents. Trina was talking Uncle Carlito's ear off. "Oh my god, Uncle. I wish you could see it. I'm basically the most talented person at Hollywood Arts."

Jade opened her mouth to comment but stopped when she felt Tori kick her under the table. It was then that Tori's mom finally decided to start a conversation. "So, Jadelyn. Do you have a penis?"

The bluntness of the question caused Jade to choke on her steak. "W-what?"

"Well, the way I see it, that's the only way my heterosexual daughter would go out with you. So, how about it?"

Tori's shocked face would've been hilarious to Jade if they were in a different situation. "Mom!"

Tori's mom held up her hands in surrender. "Jeez, it was a logical question. Well, how is your relationship going?"

Tori's relief for the subject change was evident in her face. "Yes, things are going well. We're learning so much about each other, I fall deeper in love everyday."

Once Jade's signature smirk showed up on her face, Tori knew trouble was coming. "We really are learning so much about each other. Just last night, I found out that Tori's a screamer."

Hearing Tori choking on her drink and seeing Tori's mom's disbelieving face, Jade continued. "I mean, the girl was screaming my ear off and I wasn't even kissing her anywhere near her mouth. Her screams made their way to my ears while my head was down in between—"

"JADE!" Tori and her livid father shouted at the same time.

Jade pulled her best 'innocent' face. "What?"

Tori's father was red in the face as he pointed an accusing finger at Jade. "You little dyke, corrupting my sweet daughter."

Jade stood up to meet his glare. "Don't—"

Uncle Carlito chose to save the day by screaming, "I'M GAY!"

All people at the table paused. Tori's father turned to look at his older brother. "What?"

Uncle Carlito's face showed nothing but determination as he repeated, "I'm gay. So if you want to get mad at anyone, Roberto, get mad at me."

Roberto opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say. Honestly, no one knew what to say. Finally, he sighed. "I have a headache. I'm going to bed. Nobody bother me. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Carlito."

...

The three girls and Uncle Carlito sat outside on the porch. Tori cleared her throat. "Well, that could've gone better."

Jade pursed her lips. "It could have gone worse. Murphy's Law doesn't even begin to cover this family dinner."

Trina looked at her uncle. "Uncle Carlito, why didn't you tell us?"

Uncle Carlito let out a humorless laugh. "I was scared, little chicas. You see how your father is."

"I wouldn't have minded," Tori spoke up.

Uncle Carlito playfully rubbed Tori's head. "I know. I just didn't want your father to think that I corrupted or poisoned your judgement and keep me away from my favorite nieces."

Trina giggled. "We're you're only nieces."

Uncle Carlito smiled. "That just makes you even more special to me. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of introducing you to my boyfriend, Anthony, tomorrow."

"We'd love to," Tori and Trina answered in unison.

Carlito looked over at Jade. "You know, you can come too. Even though I just met you tonight, I already consider you family. You seem to make Tori very happy."

Jade took the hand Carlito had extended and shook it. She smirked. "In more ways than one."

Trina scrunched up her face. "Ewww, TMI. I'm going to bed. Good night."

After Trina had left the three of them alone, Uncle Carlito turned to the two remaining girls. "Is she really the most talented girl at your school?"

Jade grabbed Tori's hand and held it, thumb stroking the Latina's knuckles. She looked into Tori's eyes as she responded. "No, not even close."


End file.
